I hav a very sick aunt(dad's sis) whom we dnt think tat she can stand any longer. Even bro gav an 'Errrr' answer wen dad asked him tat question. Im nt really tat close to her bt we did bond a lil bit n she is my dad's sister. i couldnt even imagine hw i would react if i were to b in dad's shoes. Even worst, if dad is in her place, i dnt think i can live either(*palispalis touchwood*).

I certainly hav so many dreams in my life n tat i choose geology is so tat i can travel a lot too but wat about my parents. I cant just leave them. Tho honestly sometimes i thought tat since they lov my bro more, let him take care of them but tat's just my thoughts wen im 'on fire'. I certainly dnt mean it. no matter wat, i only hav a mother n a father. Nothing can take their place in my heart.

But still, somewher in my mind, thers tis lil thought tat i wil never ever compromise. If u ever let bro get away from taking care of u, i wont either. Besides, we were not treated equally. It wont b just only us gals, its either only him or all of us. Or else, none. Maybe its because im hurted too much tat im strong enough to think like tis. Pain creates character.

Fact

Im nt a big fan of sharing wats in my mind, especially to my family. I dnt knw y bt i think its because i want some things tat came out from my mouth to pass after i share it. so if im sharing it wif my frens, well frens do come n go n sumtimes they dnt giv a damn abt it after they heard it n gav u some words of wisdom, so it just disapears.

in contrary if i share it wif anyone from my family tat would never leave me, i feel like tat issue will stay forever n wil b discussed again in some other day. So, its not abt who i trust, bt its about just wanting to share it n let it forever forgotten.

n recently mom added me in her fren list in FB, so its like i hav to filter wat i should/can post on my wall(since not many ppl knw tat i hav tis blog, so i think its safe for me to say tat). N thers one thing tat i wanted to say it out loud bt i dnt wan mum to knw...

Well, the thing is(main point actually), i think i fall in love again

:-o

p/s, thers but-ss about this crush.... couldnt say it here....

Happy Mother's Day

Once upon a time, ther was a lil tomboy who had a very bad temper n also never surrender wen she fight wif her mom. She was always d one bein pempered d most tats y she's kinda spoilt. So, tat lil slim n short n active girl grew up n became ME!!! Funnily, she has never changed(except for the size). D memories of me fighting wif my mum n in d end mum was d one who pujuk me r still very fresh in my mind. Mum always has to b d one tat 'surrender' to me n was always managed to tahan my bad temper n mood swings.

The pic above was taken in, if im not mistaken, London. 15 years ago, I went ther wif my family as a very cute n small kiddo n mum had to carry me very often whenever i felt tired. Then 15 years ltr, I went ther as a 'tegap' n independant 'woman-to-be' who doesnt need mum's protection n attention anymore. I've changed A LOT. But none of these would happen if its not because of my mamamia. Mum had raised me to be such a strong gal, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The warmth tat i felt whenever mum's wif me wil never b replaced by d warmth tat is given by sumbody else(not even frm tat sum1 special). Mum, I've always known tat i hav a very bad temper, but i never apologize for my action n words because I know tat even if i apologize, i will still b like tat n keep on hurting u. I promise u tat i will control my temper n mood. I love you, mum. N i swear tat i will bring u around London again n also d other parts of the world wen i've saved enough money in the future. U grew up as a kid tat has nothin much given to u by ur parents, but u raised us 100times better than how u were bein raised. Mum, i will never be able to repay u back for wat u've done to us. Once again, I love you mum.

not even a compass can help me

I'm so lost... I've not been focused in my life since i started my uni life. I really do not know why. Geology is not hard, but im just to lazy to study. I'm not like tis. I used to be a miss-know-it-all in high school, but now, im easily distracted n unfocused  during class and lab. I just dont hav d fire burning in me, like i dont hav a direction in life. Maybe its because everything is too easy(since im staying at home = too comfortable).... im d kind tat wont put an effort in tat something tat i can easily get. D very bad habit of me to only wan to fight for tat something wen its hard for me to get it or wen sumbody took it away from me will take its toll on me one day, but hopefully it wont destroy me, but just give me a lesson.

its less than one month before my final exam, where's d lighter?

20 years and 2 days of age

yesterday i had to complete a form n one of d details tat i had to fill in was my EXACT age. d blanks r like tis:

______tahun  _______bulan

so my answer was.....

20 tahun 00 bulan. wen will those kind of coincidence happen to anyone despite only once in a lifetime unless i live until 80 yrs of age to increase d probability?

for some reason, few months ago i was worried tat my 20th birthday would come. I felt like it means tat im an adult already but deep in my heart, i still wan to be under my mum's armpit ;p

tho i will leave my house very soon, but i don wan it to happen just yet. i want to embrace each second of my life tat i can still lean on mum's shoulder n be pretty worry-less...

oww btw, sumthn is bugging me actually. a fren of mine whom has a brother working on an oil rig told him tat he had few near death experience while he was at d oil rig. moreover, usually their work schedule will more or less be 2 weeks on, two weeks off. Wats gonna happen to my kids? n even IF i don hav kids or maybe not married, can anyone be SOOO loyal to me tat they wont leave me after seeing me 2 weeks n then disappeared for 2weeks n goes on like tat until i naik pangkat which will happen after i work for God knows how many years. Wat will happen to me huh? Should i even be worried? Do i hav d strenght to endure?

Paris, France

It's funny tat i only post tis after i came bk frm ther more than a month ago....

 its because my 2nd semester had started like 3 weeks already n d geology thang had really 'fill in d blankss in my daily life'

okay, PARIS...

d highlight wasnt at d Eiffel Tower, nor was it at Notre Dame or at any places tat u usually hear about paris.

So, wat was d 'most memorable' place in Paris tat i've been to?

It's non other than Champ-Elysees,

where is tat? its a shopping haven for all women and men.

Was it as good as Piccadilly?
okay, if we look at manymany aspects, to name a few:
1. d pathway at champ-elysees is 3times bigger than piccadilly's
2. its very hard to communicate wif d french ppl because most of them STILL dont speak english. So in tis case, i would prefer Piccy.
3. u can get d cheapest LV in d world in Champ-elysees(same item as anywhere, but d price is almost cheaper by half)
4. not only LV is cheap in Champ-elysees, everything is cheap there(cheap as in same item tat can also b found here but d price there can b cheaper by almost half)
5.UK's public toilet is far better than d French public toilet.
So, i really cant say i like piccy or Champ-el better. n sadly i didnt really get to shop in piccy, but just looked around n then tata....

The second highlight of Paris?
Paris Disneyland!!!!
71 euro per person 
I swear i almost got stroke wen i was in d 'Space Mountain',
there's even one moment wen i just couldnt shout anymore,
its like i've given up my life or i tot im dead already??....
 n then there was d Hollywood Tower tat i think made me skipped my heartbeat a few times n d french lady tat was seated beside me at tat time touched my thigh lagi till i laughed while shouting for my life....
imagine tat u hav to laugh while shouting at d same time, its like ur oesophagus is about to snap at any moment.

n then another ride tat was one of d most memorable to me there(beside space mountain n Hollywood tower) was also something like a Finding Nemo themed ride.
At first, i tot it was a children's ride because of d theme itself(theres nemo pictures everywhere while on d line) n mostly kids r d ones queue up for it.
Soooo, we were so relaxed wen we got on d ride n it started steady-ly n suddenly, jengjengjeng* d next thing i remember was tat my body was thrown here n there n up n down n terbalik n everything....
ever seen a C-list actress shout in a horror movie? tat was how i shouted ;o.....

So we manage to ride on all d rides in both of d parks in Disneyland in ONE DAY because we literally ran to get from one ride to d other(my couz's bf is a marathon runner) except for d ones tat r boring n closed because it was too cold. It was minus 6 deg cels tat day but i think we all had adrenalin rush tat we forgot about d cold.

So, wat else about paris:
1. d public toilet r disgusting(most of them)
2. everythin is chic in france
3. if u wan to b comfortable in term of no language boundary, go to those expensive shops
4. d immgrants r super proud while d locals r d good ones
5. wat u saw in d movie is wat u see 'live' because their attire is perfect from top to bottom
6. their baguette made me almost had a lock-jaw
7. car-kissing is totally normal for them. They can even park their car while 'kissing' other cars n just leave it like tat like nothin happen.
8. everything is mini-sized in france
9. i love france n d 'original' french people

Do u know y on earth tat its -6deg cels tat time n we still sit at d top level at d hop on hop off bus? it's because we dont want to rugi because we paid 28euro per person so we want to make sure tat we get wat we deserve, tat is, d best view... look at how red my nose was....
n i rank France at 3rd place among all d european countries tat've visited for tis trip

land of spaghetti and piza (italiano)

28th-29th January 2012
Rome, Italy

What should u expect if u come here:
1)Best piza u'll ever eat in ur whole life
2)Spaghetti overdosed till u dont even wan to look at Little Italy for at least a month
3)loud orang putihs. yup, they're loud, totally opposite of d orang putihs from other part of europe.
4)Public toilet dia ada lawan dengan public toilet d KK, so disgusting
5)It's like ur goin to a fashion show wen ur on d street. D locals punya pakaian ar so high fashion even d 'kaum ibu-ibu' 
6)Macam saya mau sakit jantung seeing the way they take care of their children. maybe sumtimes asians r too OCD wen it comes to taking care of their children but i really cant bare looking at how they're not focusing on their children. They dont even hold their child while they're at d side of the road. Dad even said or joked tat 'kita yg berpengsan kalau anak dia kena langgar depan mata kita'.
7)Even tho rome is just beside vatican city, dont expect them to b 'holy'
8)D beautiful ones r usually d brunette. blonde, so-so la....
9)For me, i cant accept their uncooked cheese(yg bukan masak dgn dish punya). I'll make funny faces everytime i try to take it
10)italian men r so romantic
11)dont worry if u dont know a word of italian, u can sumhw guess n words n d people ther can and would speak english wif u

on d 29th, we went into Vatican City

How was Vatican?
1)u just cant describe it, it was too great n impressing. Not even d posters or any photo of tat place can compare to d real first-hand view of tat place.
2)we went for a mass in d St Peter's Basilica. Being a typical teenager, i've always felt like my connection wif God was always 'engaged' and even tho my faith was quite brittle, i felt tis unexplainable feeling inside me from d moment i stepped on d holy ground n during mass, i cried wen we reached d 'Our Father' part. I know, it's kinda weird but it is wat it is, it's like i've been 'touched'.
3)people of any skin colour from all over the world came and worship d same God. It feels weird to see people from china to be excited wen they saw d pope, n i must say d orang putihs must hav felt d same thing too
4)as ya'll know from no. 3, we met d pope, from half a kilometre of course. We were at St Peter's square wen i saw him first n he was at a building, giving a mass. Everyone got soooooooo excited ..... wen He made a big sign of cross to bless all of us, it was like " .....de padre, (sumthingsumthin), spirito santos'',said d pope while making a sign of cross n immediately after tat, usually in church people would say amen. so instead of tat, it was like
the pope:"........ spirito santos"
us: "woUUhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH"(lambai2 like maniac)
Kalah lagi d reaction JLo would get
5)d guards were like giants to us, even for d ordinary orang putihs...
6)Many things n places in St Peter's basilica tat we cannot take pictures of them. So d concept tat we used was tat just take as many pictures as u can till d giant guards come. Wen he came, because he was sooo huge, i felt like running but in Vatican City bha ni, 'semua orang' pun bagus-bagus punya. They would just say no but will never touch u, hopefully.
7)After d mass wif pope, they hav d praise and worship n at d same time, d vatican bell was ringing n mum n dad were there too. So I felt like im in heaven already at tat moment. Ther's nothing i want more than tat if im really in heaven at tat time.
Overall, i rank this italy as 3rd place while Vatican City, 1st.

Mr. B!!! wat a blessing to be able to see him n listen to him(thru speaker) in real life. tho its far, but still, u can feel d aura.

Poland

Overall, Poland was my favourite..... Y? U'll get d answer below

Took a direct flight from Belfast to a place where i cant even pronounce it d correct Polish way, Krakow.... I dnt need to listen to how u pronounce it bt im bloody sure as hell u got it wrong n funnily though, i still cant get it right till d now despite being taught by our guide for a thousand times. 

So, wen we arrived at Krakow airport, straight away our driver brought us Oskar Shindler's factory. Who is Shindler?For me, he is a legend. Steven Spielberg even made a movie about him called Shindler's List tat made me cry from d beginning till d end. N if ever came to Poland b4 u watch tat movie, it will mean deeper to u because u'll see those places n things in those scenes r exactly like wat u saw here n u can almost relate it to urself. Bottom line is, look out for tat movie n watch it. N dont forget ur tissuesss(note d 's'). A short story abouthim, he used up all his money to save 1100 jews so tat they wont b sent to Auschwitz.

Next, we went for a short tour around famous places in Krakow before we went for our dinner in a traditional Polish restaurant tat i can only tampias wen i tried pronounce d name but failed to. It was a very nice place to dine in n not to mention unique. D bar was at d ground floor n d dining tables were underground n there were people singing Polish folk song. Veryvery Polish.... 

Outside d restaurant lagi Polish. D coldness of -10deg cels made me cant talk, cant smile to d camera(cant even open d skarf around my mouth n neck, so y bother smiling), can hardly breath because my rib cage hurts wen i do n i swore at 1 moment i tot i would hav to cut off my fingers because i cant move them anymore. Such beautiful place but cant really enjoy it, such a waste.

Then we proceed to our Hotel Olecki in Oswiecim, 2 hours from Krakow n just a few steps from d Auschwitz death camp. Since we dont hav water heater in our room, so kinda sigh a lil bit in front of d receptionist n u know wat happened? She borrowed us hers after she used it to boil her own water. So Polish people r not only beautiful, they're nice too n d staff also really took care of us. On our last day there n because our flight was in d morning n Krakow Airport was 2 hours away from our hotel, they made breakfast just for 7 of us, ONLY 7 of us n something happened tat time too n they were d ones tat were worried about our taxi. O ya, Polish r soft-spoken people too.

Ok on our 2nd day ther, after breakfast, we walk to Auschwitz(tat is how close we were) n spent half our day at 2 death camps, Auschwitz and Birkenau. How does it feels like to b at a place where millions had died? not creepy, seriously, but just extremely sad. Seteruk-teruk jepun dulu, teruk lg Nazi 100 kali ganda. I've uploaded some of d pictures in my FB profile. Wen i saw d tonnes of hair being exhibited there n d cloth tat was made of pure human hair, i almost puke. I cant imagine how can Hitler do such a thing. N d feeling got more worst wen we saw children cloths, shoes, photos, broken toys. It was so heartbreaking tat i cant even cry, d feeling was far beyond explainable. U just have to go ther urself n feel it first hand. It was coincidently d anniversary of liberation, so a few survivors were ther n i really wanted to salute them for surviving such oppression tat can only b performed by animals. 

Then, to d museum exhibiting everything about d late Pope John Paul II in His hometown, Wadowice, followed by a visit to a church where He served as a priest for d first time. Then to a Salt mine, another wonderful n amazing place tat made us speechless. 

So basically:

1. Poland is where all d beautiful people are. Maybe its d cold weather tat 'grew' these beautiful slavic women.

2. Polish r soft-spoken human being. Can u imagine how hard we hav to control our voices...

3. They use Zloty, which is slightly smaller tat our currency.

4. I love Polish people

5. Polish beer is super strong. I swear i almost didnt make it to d toilet to throw out, bt thank God i manage to.

5. Poland was so cold tat i feel like wana puke, not because i was drunk.

6. The guide told me tat Polish r mainly Catholics but most of them dont go to church, including himself

7. They can speak english n if ur asian, they'll automatically speak eng wif u, not like french people who speak french wif u even tho ur obviously an asian.

I rank Poland as no. 2 among all d countries tat i've visited for this europe trip

Gas chamber in a death camp where millions had been gassed with toxic gas here n suffocated before they died. the germans told them tat they r gonna hav their shower here, so they dont even know they're gonna b gassed here until d gas comes out from an openning. After tat,

to d crematorium.

Northern Ireland and Ireland

next destination, on the 24th of January I believe(well i had too much fun n sengaja wanna lost in time, so i didnt really know wats d date on tat day. so i had to count d day tat i've been ther to know d date), yup, u got it, d Irish land, n d first thing tat came up in my mind was d little green guy wif beard n vikings. Oh did i mention tat d day b4, on d 23th jan, it was mum's birthday n since we left KL at 6pm on d 22th n arrived London at 1am UK time on d 23th, its like we celebrated mum's birthday in 2 days cos while we were half way to london, it was 23th of jan in Malaysia n wen we arrived london 6 hours later, it was just d beginning of mum's birthday, AGAIN. So no doubt tat was her longest birthday ever n its kinda cool cos we were like stuck in time n ol d way from kl to london, for 14 hours, it was always dark like as if we were running away from d sun.

Ok, so we got on an EasyJet from London to Belfast n just b4 we landed on d 'plane track', we(da sabahans) got so excited wen we saw herds of sheep frm our plane n d land was so green n 'farmy'. Oh did i mention tat since ther were just a few ppl on d same flight wif us, literally we can only hear our own voice during d whole journey, well typical asian kan. n do you know tat since we gt on our flight to london frm kl till tis second, we had to constantly 'shhh' each other because we were so used to our bising culture, bt of course no matter how much noise we made during d whole trip, still couldnt compare wif d noise tat we usually make in kk.

Alrite, after d sheep part, lets proceeds to our amazement part wen we're on our way to our hotel in a public transport(yup, tis whole trip, we explore europe by ourselves). Oh ya, d exploration on d land of d irish will nt b complete without Enya's songs playing in my phone. i really dunno how to explain ireland, especially while we were on our way to dublin d next day. Its like d magical feeling wen u listen enya's songs. Bt if u look around ireland while listening to her songs, i think u wont need drugs in ur life anymore. Bt 1 thing's for sure, d irish english was totally out of 'rhythm' if u comparethem wif d Londoners'. It was so hard for me to understand them tat i literally need to focus on the movement of their lips too while listening to them. So u can imagine my small asian eyes kena dikecilkan sikit lagi sbab terlampau fokus.

So basically, i would say tat Ireland, both d UK part n d non-UK part are:
1)since belfast n dublin r like a student concentrated zone, things r not so expensive(if u earn pounds, its gonna b like just clipping nails wen u pay for something or even everything).
2)Public toilets are OK except in Dublin, but still cant compare wif d toilets in Center Point.
3)D food were really good n not too expensive. My order, which was d most expensive among all d orders made by my family n also d most expensive one tat i've ever ordered during my whole time in Ireland, only cost me 12.00pounds. (12poundsx5=RM60)
4)Do u know tat Guinness was originated from Ireland? yup, they were super duper good
5)d people were nice n helpful(most of them). Eg, after our lunch in a very nice pub in Dublin, as we were about to leave(it was raining), d waitress gave us umbrellas lagi.
6)Dublin was d place tat made me feel grateful tat my home is in Malaysia. Seriously, in terms of d surrounding condition, Malaysia is way better. But still, Ireland is about NATURE. I didnt get d chance to see wat i saw i d tv about their nature because we shop too much. So i couldnt give any overall comment.
7)Do u know tat Titanic, d big ship tat's famous because of Jake n Rose, was built in Ireland n sailed from there? D docking spot was still there. Well, for me, i only knew it wen i was brought to a ship building site(still till today) in a Black Cab.
8)Catholic is best not to marry a Protestant there. Cases like these do occur but they have to move to London to get away from controversies.
All in all, i would rate d whole Ireland as A. Everything was just nice but it just didnt leave a very deep feeling in me, maybe its because we havent seen their beautiful view of nature yet. I know its not fair for them but i think i would rank ireland at sixth place.

Btw, i bought some Irish tea n they are so aromatic tat u would wanna keep smelling it b4 u pour hot water on d small teabag, after u pour water on it n even after u take a few sip, u just dont wan to swallow it because u'll wan to leave d aroma in ur mouth.

i cant speak wenever im eating tis, it was just so good

London, England

We leave kk on the 21st of january for KL on d 2pm AirAsia flight n we stay d night in KL. The next day, we sempat lagi shopping in MidValley before goin to d airport for our 14 hours direct AirAsia flight to Gatwick airport, London at 6pm. I had to take 2 biji motion sickness pills for d flight because in my memory, i was puking wen i reached heathrow airport 15years ago. Not wanting the history to happen again, better hantam saja d medicine kan...

All we did during our whole journey to London was:
-eat
-drink
-sleep
-pee
-stand up because mum wan to pee(i sat near d 'corridor')
-play 'smurf village'
-play 'angry bird'
-thinking about london
-cubuk d orang putihs in our flight
-n then eat again
-starting to complain
-n then get excited again
-n looking at d GPS to know d countries tat we pass by
-shivering because it was soooooooo cold bt too lazy to take out our winter clothing in our bag

We reached london on the 23th of january at 1am UK time, n its still mum's birthday( yep her birthday is on d 23th of january). 2 days bha her birthday.

So we slept for a few hours n then at 4am we woke up again because its noon in malaysia. our biological alarm clock says nap time is over. So we have start our day at 4am....

On that day, we went to a lot of places in London by d hop on hop off bus. d temperature was just above 0 deg cels but because we dont want to rugi, we sat at d top level of d bus even tho d wind was literally biting our faces.

Something i've noticed about London:
-so many indians
-brits r frenly n crazy
-i love their english
-our cost of living in malaysia is higher even wen its in pound in d UK
-A lot of asians as well
-u can never worry about goin into a dirty toilet because they dont exist there, they even hav hygiene inspection every few minutes
-they're really proud about d harry porter movie sampai daniel radcliff punya sekolah mau disebutnya 5,6 kali. bt isnt robert pattison a brit too...
-ppl r nt afraid to do something tat u would think only crazy ppl would do
-i fell in love in London

Generally, i rate london an A n d ppl, an A also. Among ol d countries tat i've been to in this europe trip, i would rank it as 4th place. maybe its because london is too cliche for me already

Tis is wen i was on d hop on hop off bus. I love it even tho it was freezing cold up ther

The best time of my life

As ya'll know, i went for a vacation in europe with my parents n some relatives from the 21st of january till d fourth of february 2012. This was the trip that i've never thought tat would happen to me again since i last stepped foot on europe was 15 years ago. And my memories about europe before this recent trip was nearly zero but i didnt forget that its a place wher all d big hotdogs and best bacons in the world are, n it turns out tat im still right.

Europe is a place tat everyone must visit(be it anywher as long as its in europe) at least once in ur lifetime no matter how much u love ur country. People are extremely good looking n nice over ther, tho not all of them. And even tho how much u realize how big n great n weird human being and tis world may be, u will never get d real picture of it until u c it urself(thru poster is not 'sah'). I'll post one by one of d countries that i've visited recently in different posts and sorry if its kinda late for me to post them here now. I'm still sad n emo for leaving europe. Seriously, i think i need to 'call' my semangat back from europe. And i'll upload the one photo that is most meaningfull for me here, 1 photo for each country. d rest of them u can find them in my facebook photos.

Can't believe tat tis day would come again.... look how small ,cute and slim i was since my last visit to europe. okayyy, tis photo was taken in Holland and we're not going ther tis time, instead,we're going to KL tis afternoon n then d following day will take off to London. Places we go? London, Ireland, Poland, Italy and lastly Paris. U know, everytime i think about tis trip, i will always hav to take a deep breath after tat, so tisshows how excited i am about tis trip. n yet, i havent finish packing my stuff yet :p


Byebye KK n definitely byebye Malaysia~~ tata